I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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