forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hippo gnu deer
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
