i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
