Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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