Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
