I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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