No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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