i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
