Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
