So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This is my gift to your gina
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize