So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize