omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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