Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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