Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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