I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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