garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
