She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
