I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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