i already hear my dad disowning me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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