i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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