it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
please don't ironically join a cult
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
