Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
