got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
