I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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