don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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