im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Did I show you my penis last night?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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