I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
