she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
