obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
