happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
