discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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