3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
