look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
