I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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