I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
