just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
