he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I looked at my own cervix.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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