So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
