K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Buhtt sex?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
