Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
