please come you make the beer taste better
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
