Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
