cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
