Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he puts the penis in happiness.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Found your dick twin last night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
