dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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