ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The Olympian is in my bed
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
