You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just had sex on a roof
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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