So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
