Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
