Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
