It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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