Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
