Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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