UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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