Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
