I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
