the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
