i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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