tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
