Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
