he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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