I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize