I got chris browned last night
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
