guys are not supposed to queef...right?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize